The Depths of Illness - Brain Fog

It is 2005. I am sitting next to my father in a doctor's office. A diagnostic specialist is asking me questions. I stumble through answers. It is difficult to put together a sentence. I cannot think of common words or in what order they are supposed to go. The chronology of events is mixed up in my head. I cannot remember the names of drugs I've already taken. I cannot remember the names of places that I had been. I cannot remember all of my symptoms. Brain fog is preventing me from accessing certain parts of my memory, speech, logical thinking, creativity, and more. This is not an isolated incident. This is my new life.

I am interviewing for Engineering job in 2006. The interviewer is asking me typical questions. What is your greatest strength? I have prepared an answer for this questions, but I cannot remember what it is. My brain seems slow. I stumble through an answer. They ask another question. I cannot think of a reply. I finally answer something incoherent. I do not get the job. I do not blame the company. I would not hire me either.

I am working as an engineer. It is my second day. I am in my bosses office. He gives me an assignment. I walk back to my desk. I sit down to do the assignment. I cannot remember what I am supposed to do. I struggle to remember what had been asked of me not two minutes prior. I cannot remember. I go back to my boss and ask him to repeat the assignment. It is embarrassing. I wonder how long I will be employed.

It is 2007. I am taking the Fundamentals of Engineering (FE) exam. The morning has gone relatively well. Lunchtime changes everything. My brain starts to shut down while eating my peanut butter and apples. I think about taking a nap but decide against. The second half of the test begins. I start reading and answering questions. I am hot. I start to sweat. I lose focus. My brain feels like mush. I cannot remember any of the concepts and formulas that I have been studying for six months. I reread the same question over and over again. It is no use. My brain is misfiring. I close the test booklet and leave. This is my life...