The Depths of Illness - Exercise-Induced Fatigue

December 2013

A friend and colleague had been asking if I wanted to joint him mountain biking for over a year.  I loved mountain biking - got into it during college on the trails that crisscrossed South Mountain between Lehigh's three campuses - but I had not been mountain biking in years due to an irregular onslaught of aches and ailments that rarely gave me pause.  One week, however, when Ari again invited me out for a ride, I was having a good week and decided to give it a try.

The morning of the ride, I did not feel nearly as good as when I had accepted.  Nevertheless, I hopped on my bike and took off to meet Ari and his friend Alex in a parking lot not too far from my house.  "Adam," Ari said with the drawn ease of a life-time Californian, "you excited?"

"Nervous,"  I replied.  "You all are gonna take it easy on me, right?"  Ari and Alex smiled.

We took off, following some railroad tracks for a short while till coming to the drop in point for Rose Canyon.  It was less than a mile, but I was already winded and struggling to keep up.  I wasn't in the best shape, which was part of the problem, but I also knew that this feeling was different.  For years, after moderate to severe expenditures of energy - everywhere from a short run to playing volleyball to going for a hike in the mountains - my body would shut down.  This was how it always began.

After a few miles of riding over moderate terrain, we stopped at the top of a side trail that ended at a cul-de-sac near my neighborhood.  I was dizzy, shaking, and unable to breath.  "Guess I'm in worse shape than I thought," I said to Ari and Alex.  "I'm going to head on out and stop holding you two back."  Unsure if I was going to pass out, throw up, or maintain my feeling of being on the verge of something worse, I walked my bike to the cul-de-sac, hopped on and rode home.

"You're back so soon," Ingrid said, surprised.  "How was it?"

"Miserable." I said.  "I feel like crap."  I lay down on the carpet in the living room and turned on the TV.  I did not have enough energy to get up.  My head felt heavy.  Eyes closed.  Unwillingly, though blessfully, sleep came.  Not refreshing sleep, though.  When I awoke, my head and limbs remained heavy and difficult to command.  I was not surprised.  This had happened many times before and would undoubtedly happen again.